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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without a word seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the words this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {